@ Me & My LiFeStyLe @

These days I become quiet…. I used to be quiet and even quieter. This came back to me again. When this happens, I definitely worried. I have to cheer up. My routine is the same everyday but now the only thing I’ve changed is that I keep myself occupied after work. I still can’t make a decision that if I should continue my study. I’m trying to improve myself hard. At the mean time, I still can’t forget and never ever forget. Missing alone and one side love are actually suffering. The other party won’t know. Maybe because of this, I keep myself occupied to take away those unnecessary things from my mind. Maybe it’s unnecessary and too much that it won’t happen to me.I always tell myself: If it’s mine, it’ll come to me one day. I believe I could get something better. There’s no point to force and grab something from others. How good if one day all the good things come to me. Haha…. that time I’ll become a queen or king. who knows what’ll happen the next minute, why not we make it happened?

Sometimes, I feel that I have a bit tired of my life. Why do we need to work so hard? what for? We need to relax and enjoy and mix around with the right people only they can help us in our way. Friends like the passer-by of our life. We’re treasuring and counting on them. Life can be expectedly good if we work on it and it’ll turn into the other way if u just let it be. I choose to be better and I hope people around me support me on my way. Eventhough how suffer that we have to go through, we are the best and the only champion of ourselves. If we don’t help and love ourselves, who is going to do so for us? GAMBATAH… and I’ll! I won’t give up!

I JUST CAME BACK TO WORK. I WENT FOR CAR SERVICE THIS MORNING AT 8:30AM. I WENT FOR 20,000KM SERVICE, IT’S QUITE A LARGE AMOUNT I SPENT. I’VE NEVER EXPECTED ANYWAY. I DON’T KNOW WHY I HAVE NO MOOD AT ALL. JUST NOW THEY DELAYED FOR DELIVERY OF CAR, I COULDN’T BELIEVE THAT I SCOLDED THE STAFF THERE. NOT TOO SERIOUS JUST SOUNDED SERIOUS ONLY. HE TOLD ME THAT MY WIPERS SPOILT AGAIN. I WAS ANGRY COS I JUST CHANGED IT AT THE LAST SERVICE.

ACTUALLY I WAS BOTHERED AND GOT WORRIED ABOUT MY FINANCIAL STATUS. I’M GETTING PANICKED AND SCARED. I KNOW I HAVE TO JUST LOOK FORWARD. I’M WORRIED THAT ONE DAY I WILL JUST COLLAPSED. SOMETIMES I LOST THE DIRECTION AND DON’T KNOW HOW TO HANDLE MY LIFE. I DON’T KNOW HOW TO SAY THE FEELING. I FEEL THAT I CAN’T BREATHE AND BIT SUFFERING. WHAT CAN I DO AT THE MOMENT?

Father’s day is coming, I actually almost forget about it until I read Elize’s blog. I believe that she had a very good father who brought her lots of memories in her childhood. Unfortunately, if something’s mained to be we can’t change the fact.   

Mentioned about ‘ father’, this vocabulary seems to be far away from me. It has been long time since I called ‘ Daddy’. Why? Everything changed after my brother left. The whole family changed and our relationship with daddy changed too. We used to go for a trip during holiday together. We laughed, talked, discussed and slept together eventhough my family is small. I remembered when my brother, sisters and I asked to buy a computer for the house, we are asked to sit down in the living room and had a family meeting. My mum asked us to give solid reasons to have a computer. It was very wierd right? At that time, they had old fashioned thought and we were not rich too. Just because of a computer, we spent hours and took up refusion. That time my daddy was at our side and he tried so hard to help us to get my mum’s agreement. At last we got the first computer. Couple of years ago, I ran out from the house but got caught by daddy. He was so angry that he was about to slap me on the face. I threw my phone on the floor and shouted at him. I didn’t know if I was angry or hate in my mind. He didn’t do that but everything became worse to worst until today. Since then, I always appreciate and like it when I see people with their daddy and mummy. I still miss the days that we spent together and overcame problems. How wonderful if time reversed.

Remembered what we’ve done, we celebrated father’s day once only and the only one. If I’m provided another chance, I will do it again.

Anyhow, wish all the fathers ‘ Happy Father’s Day’