@ Me & My LiFeStyLe @

What should I say ya? Hehe…. These few days I got to know a friend. It’s really nice to meet her…. We had a good time to be together eventhough sometimes our communication has bit problem. Why? B’cos my Malay is poor… But I’m happy that we can be close and I haven’t been to her race. This is the first time and good experience. She’s a sabahan. After few days and they supposed to return to hometown. They missed the flight and they said it’s the fault of airport management. Haizz…. what’s happening? She said she plans to work in KL. Hope evrything will be fine.

Yesterday my ex- called after a long time. He apologised…. and asked me to go out too. I just told him that I will consider. We just talked as usual but he told me that he wanted to talk to me …

I wonder who am I and how am I as a person. I became moody and easily get depressed. I wish I were not like that. I can be very jealous sometimes. I like the feeling of people care about us. I began tired of my loneliness and how good if somebody is there for me. At least I can have the one to share with me… I don’t need to do things alone and I don’t need to keep things in heart. These days, when night comes I got very sad and couldn’t sleep well. My ‘ kai mui ‘ told me that if I’m sad or lonely I can give them a call or ask them out. But I told her… at the end we still have to be alone… and when this happens, I started to miss my family and I would wish to let everthing down here and go back to start my life once again. I don’t know which one should I choose and what can I do. I have this thought, may b’cos I need someone to rely on and I don’t wan to be this tired by my own. I’m stupid and useless rite? When can I start doing things better and handle things well. I’m so empty and I am so aimless.. this is what someone told me. I can’t be like this anymore… But u know or not I can no longer be strong anymore. I drop my tears easily.. which is not I wan. What happened to me and why is this happen? I’m really weak and tired…… I will try to be strong. But I scare……..

Recently, I’ve changed to be different but I don’t know what are the problems. I became moody, emotional. Very mini minor things, I might get so sensitive and angry. I also sometimes wonder why. I feel to cry out. Who can I cry to? What’s my actual problems? Cry, can only make me feel better cos I don’t need to keep the pressure in me myself. I’m no longer strong as before and I want to be protected and wish I can rely on somebody at least for temporary. Ya, when we r doing things alone, it’s meaningless. I’m tired and bored of that…. I’m really tired………..

I don’t have mood to work in the office recently… I feel bored with my life and my unchanged routine everyday. I need something more challenging. I don’t want my life t be life this, wasted. I don’t know what can I do. I’m finding out…………